When I Come Around
by neo-chan
Summary: Tai wants to be there for Yamato as what Yamato wants him to be, but it's not as easy as he thought it would be. Yamato doesn't know if he can wait for Tai to come around... if Tai ever does come around. -sequel to Burnout-


A/N: I know it's quite random for me to suddenly decide to write a sequel to Burnout after so long, but… well, here I am writing it! Hopefully those of you who wanted more are still around!

Please review, because I would absolutely love feedback on this and feel free to suggest ideas, because this is definitely going to have more chapters and I'm not sure of the direction I'm headed in right now.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon or rights to any of the characters; I'm not making a profit off of this, etc.

**When I Come Around  
**by: neo-chan

I don't think Tai likes me.

I mean, of course Tai likes me, but I don't think he **likes **me. I know I'm really lucky that he's as good to me as he is, and I'm totally grateful that he's even **trying** this whole dating thing for my sake, but… well, I just don't think he's interested.

It's not his fault, of course- you can't force feelings-, but it sucks. Tai and I have been "dating" (and by that, I mean we've actually been going on official dates. Tai wouldn't have it any other way) for two weeks now and pretty much all we've done is kiss a few times- and by a few, I really mean a few. It seems like we're less affectionate now than ever. Tai has even stopped touching my leg when he talks to me or when he's comforting me, a habit that I actually really miss. Apparently it's not so easy to add the "physical" part to our relationship.

Yup, I'm pretty sure Tai doesn't have those kind of feelings towards me- and if he doesn't, well, there's nothing I can do about it except thank him for trying. It would be great if things worked out between us, but right now that doesn't seem likely. Tai even admitted to me that it's hard for him to think of me as a "sexual being". What I got from that is that he sees me like a brother… so we're pretty much back to stage one.

Being gay for your best friend sucks.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"So how are things between you and Tai?" Sora asked me as she slid into the booth across from me. It was a Saturday morning and Sora and I had decided to go for coffee together before we made any other plans for the day.

I hesitated, which made Sora raise her eyebrows.

"You know, that was supposed to be almost a hypothetical question," she remarked, which clearly meant "What's wrong?"

I sighed. "Well… not that I'm ungrateful for what he's doing, but… it's just not working, I guess."

"Not working?" Sora repeated in disbelief. "You and Tai were already practically dating, how bad could things be?"

"You'd be surprised," I said glumly. "He won't even **touch** me, Sora. It's like he's scared that I'll have too much of a reaction or something."

"But **he's** the one who's always been touchy-feely with **you**."

"I know! But it's not like I can even say anything, because I'm lucky that he's even trying this out."

"Well, you know, Matt… if you're unhappy with how things are going…"

"I know, I know…" I sighed again. "I have to tell him."

"Yes, you do. You know the last thing he wants is to disappoint you."

"I know, but if I tell him I don't like the way things are going, won't I seem ungrateful or something?"

"To Tai? Are you kidding? He'll probably feel bad that he's not making you happy."

"That's even worse! I don't want him to feel bad!"

"I know but if you don't tell him, he'll be even more hurt."

"I know…" I groaned. "Fuck… maybe I should just wait and see if things get better."

Sora gave me a look. "Matt…"

"I know, I know!" I exclaimed, cutting her off. "I just-"

At that moment, my cell phone rang. Sighing in frustration, I looked at the screen and found that it was, of course, Tai.

"Hi," I answered, trying to sound somewhat pleasant- or at least neutral.

"Hey," came Tai's voice. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, I'm just having coffee with Sora."

"Yeah? Where?"

"Café Verona- you know, the one just down the street?"

"Yeah. Alright, I'm going to come join you guys, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. It wasn't like I could say no… besides, I **did** still love being around Tai and it was sweet that he was making such an effort and was devoting most of his time and attention to me…

Ugh, I was so hopelessly in love.

"Alright, I'll be there in a couple minutes. Bye."

I hung up and Sora gave me a knowing look, which I countered with a glare.

"Shut up," I said before she even opened her mouth.

Sora raised her hands in defence. "Hey, I wasn't going to say anything."

The two of us sat in silence for a few moments, sipping our coffee, until Sora piped up again.

"So is it just the physical part?"

I stopped drinking, coughing a bit. "**What**?"

"You know… is it just the physical part that's causing problems?"

"Well… yeah," I admitted, unable to help blushing a bit. "I mean, if relationships didn't have a physical aspect to them, we would probably have the perfect relationship."

"Then it's probably just taking him time to get used to it," Sora suggested.

"I know, I figured that, but…" I trailed off.

Sora rolled her eyes. "Are you really **that** eager to have sex with him that you can't wait a little while?"

I blushed immediately. "Sora!"

"What? Obviously you're ridiculously horny for him-"

"I am not ridiculously horny for him!"

I sunk low into my seat, mortified, as I realized that I'd practically yelled and that everyone around us had turned to stare. Sora snickered a little, holding back full-fledged laughter, and I glared at her with my face burning. Of course, as if I wasn't embarrassed enough, a throat cleared behind me and I turned to see Tai standing there with an eyebrow raised.

I stared at him for a few moments in humiliated shock and opened my mouth to try and explain (although I had no idea what I would way), but nothing came out. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sora covering her mouth with her hand- obviously trying to stifle more laughter. I was going to kill her later.

Finally Tai moved, sliding into the booth next to me. "So I hear you're horny for me," he said, grinning.

Sora started full-out laughing at this point and I opened and closed my mouth several times, not knowing what to say. I knew Tai had intentionally put me in an awkward position, knowing that if I said I **was** horny for him it would be embarrassing and if I said I **wasn't** horny for him, it would be a blatant lie.

Tai started laughing too, at the look on my face, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me (he leaned in a bit with a smile on his face) but then he turned to Sora instead and spoke.

"So I see you two have been having a very productive conversation," he joked.

"Definitely," Sora joked back with a laugh. Then she pulled out her cell phone and, very obviously pretending to check the time, said, "I should probably get going." Sora stood, putting on her coat. "I'll see you guys later, okay?"

Tai and I both nodded and said goodbye, and she waved as she walked out of the café. As she left, Tai got up and sat where she'd previously been sitting across from me.

"So," he said, "why **were** you guys talking about being horny?"

I blushed, but knew I had to bring up our little "problem". That was probably the reason Sora had left us alone in the first place- so that we could have a talk.

"Well…" I hesitated, and Tai instantly sensed that something was up.

"Is something wrong?" Tai asked, taking on a serious tone.

"Um… not really, but… well…" I looked down, drawing imaginary circles on the side of my coffee cup. How was I supposed to bring something like that up?

Tai reached over and gently took my hand in his, stopping my fidgeting. I met his eyes and he gave me a look that said he was genuinely concerned.

"What is it, Yama?"

Just holding his hand made me feel warm and happy inside… especially with him looking deep into my eyes like he was…

"Yama?" Tai prompted.

I knew I had to be blushing again. "Sorry… um…" I sighed. "I just…"

Tai was watching me expectantly and I took a deep breath, finally blurting it out before I lost my nerve.

"How come you never touch me?"

My blush deepened as soon as it came out and Tai stared at me for a few moments in surprise before speaking- and I could swear he was blushing a little too.

"I'm sorry, **what**?" He sounded bewildered.

"You used to touch me all the time," I explained, feeling like an idiot but still continuing. "Now you barely even… I mean… you've only kissed me, like, three times in the past week!"

Tai's eyebrows shot up and my heart sank when he let go of my hand, instantly making me feel cold and kind of empty.

"Yama… I didn't know… I mean…" Tai seemed at a loss for words and, after a moment, merely murmured, "I'm sorry."

Immediately I felt bad. "Tai-"

"No, Yama, it's good that you brought this up. I like that you're telling me how you feel. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me about something. I just… really wasn't expecting that."

"Okay… so… what do you think?" I asked lamely. "I mean, how do you feel… about…" I trailed off, not quite knowing how to end the sentence. I knew Tai understood what I meant, though.

Tai was silent for a few seconds, then smiled slightly and patted the spot beside him. "Come here."

I did and as soon as I sat down beside him, he put an arm around my waist and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on my lips. My heart melted as soon as our lips touched, and he rested his forehead against mine when the kiss was broken.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way," Tai said softly.

"I know… I'm sorry-" I started, but Tai cut me off.

"Don't be sorry. You're right," Tai admitted, and I felt my stomach flutter when I felt the familiar sensation of his hand on my thigh. "I know I haven't been very physically affectionate with you. You've got to understand, though, Yama- it's hard for me to even **think** about touching you in a sexual way."

I guess my disappointment showed on my face, because Tai rushed on.

"It's not that I'm not attracted to you or anything, Yama, it's just that it feels kind of funny to think of you differently than I have for the past nineteen years. Just give me some time, alright? I love you, Yama; you know I want this to work out."

I sighed. "I know…"

We were both silent for a minute or two until Tai spoke again.

"Yama… you and Sora were just kidding, right? You're not **really** ridiculously horny, are you? I mean, if you are-"

"No," I said quickly, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment. "Sora was just joking. I'm fine."

"Alright… but, you know, if you **do** start to feel sexually frustrated or something, I'm here- whether I've come to terms with this physical stuff or not."

Tai was way too good to me. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned back in, kissing him. Tai squeezed my waist gently and smiled back at me when the kiss ended.

"If it's any consolation, I love kissing you."

I pulled him in for another kiss.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

I buried my hands in Tai's hair, pulling his head closer to deepen the kiss as I shifted a little beneath him. The arm of the couch was digging into my back uncomfortably and I had landed in an awkward position when we'd stumbled onto the couch, but I still felt like I was in heaven. Tai was lying on top of me and kissing me with passion and I'd never felt so happy in my life.

My bliss heightened when Tai's lips left mine and moved to my neck instead, kissing tenderly and sucking lightly. I bit my lip and tilted my head back, feeling arousal bubbling violently in my stomach… and in lower areas. I slid my hands down Tai's side and instinctively lifted my hips to grind against his.

Tai paused in what he was doing and I froze, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat. Shit, what if I'd been too presumptuous? What if he hadn't liked that? What if-

"Yama," Tai said gently, "I think… we have to stop."

My heart dropped straight to my feet. Fuck, I **had** made him uncomfortable.

"Okay," I said, trying not to sound too miserable.

Tai got off of me and I sat up, avoiding his eyes. It had been almost another two weeks since Tai and I had had "the" talk, making it almost a month since we'd initially started "dating", and I didn't want to seem pushy but… well, Tai's hesitance towards our physical relationship was really starting to get to me. Either he wanted it or he didn't… and I was really starting to believe that the latter was true.

Tai was shaking his head when I met his eyes again and he opened his mouth to speak.

"I don't think I can do this."

I stared at Tai for several very long moments, suddenly wanting to puke.

"Wh… what do you mean?" I managed to get out.

Tai gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Yama… I just… I know I said that I just needed time and I'd be here for you when you got… you know… but I just…" Tai shook his head. "I just can't. I don't know if I'll **ever** be able to, Yama… I'm sorry."

I felt completely and utterly crushed. Tears were stinging my eyes and I knew my hands were probably shaking, the same way I felt like my whole body was trembling. Tai didn't want me that way. He really didn't want me.

Tai opened his mouth to say something else, but I interrupted him.

"I need to be alone."

My voice was quiet and shaky, and Tai looked guilty.

"Yama, I'm so sorry-"

"It's fine," I lied. "I just need to be alone right now."

Tai studied me for a few seconds, and of course he knew that I wasn't alright, but he gave in and sighed.

"…alright. I'll call you later, okay?"

I nodded, although I knew that I probably wouldn't answer his call. "Okay."

I wordlessly led Tai to the door and before he left, he threw another apologetic glance my way.

"I really do like kissing you, Yama, it's just-"

"Tai, please," I cut him off in a strained voice. "Just… just go. We can talk later."

Tai sighed again. "Okay… bye."

"Bye."

I shut the door and then leaned against it, biting my lip and trying to breathe as my throat slowly closed up. I wished I'd never told Tai about my feelings in the first place. Then we could have avoided the whole mess… and maybe then I wouldn't feel so heartbroken.

But there was nothing I could do now. We'd tried, we'd failed, and now it was over. Tai would find a nice girl that he actually **wanted** to be with, and as for me… well, all I could do was try to be happy for him.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**


End file.
